Page:AceticLibraryV2PreparationForDeath.djvu/109

 for this, he answered, " I would much rather be considered dull of understanding than waste my time."

No, my God, I will no longer waste that time which Thou in Thy mercy dost grant to me. I deserve now to be weeping fruitlessly in everlasting punishment. I thank Thee for having preserved me in life. Therefore, for the days which may remain to me, I will live only to Thee. If I were now in hell I should weep, but despairingly and without fruit. I wish to weep over the offences I have committed against Thee; and whilst weeping, I feel certain that Thou wilt pardon me; for the prophet assures me, that, " Thou shalt weep no more; He will be very gracious unto thee." (Isa. xxx. 19.) If I were now in hell I could never love Thee more; but now I love Thee, and hope ever to love Thee. If I were now in hell, I should never more be able to ask Thee for more grace; but now I can hear Thee saying, "Ask, and it shall be given you." Therefore, since I can still ask grace of Thee, these two gifts will I ask, O God of my soul; give me perseverance in Thy grace, and give me Thy love, and then do with me what Thou wilt. Grant that at every moment of life which may remain to me, I may ever commend myself to Thee, my Jesus, by saying, " Lord help me, Lord have mercy upon me; let me never more offend Thee; let me ever love Thee."