Page:Account of the particular soliloquies and covenant engagements.pdf/4

 disdaining the converse of the poor, but thou helped me to be denied to great folk, and to the reproach I suffered on that head; making the company of the poor that were godly in the land dear unto me, and I hope they shall be so while they keep in God’s way, he having passed by the great ones and honoured the poor, boldly to testify for him and these whom he honours, I desire (thro’ grace) to honour. Praise be to thee whose care of me was such, that it was ministers who were valiant for Christ, that he sent in my way, such as did not flatter me in my sin, but faithfully and freely did hold out in the gospel what was sin and duty, and sealed the same with their blood: How did thou encourage me with many sweet answers of prayer to confirm me in thy love, thou did help me in the days of thy love to me, to make a full resignation of all that was mine unto thee, that when I was put out of all, stripped bare and destitute, not knowing of shelter to me and my poor babes, how calmly and quietly did thou help me to go under it, so that I was made to fear that it was stupidity, and not supporting grace; and such was thy love, that, even in that thou would not let me to go without a reproof; for there was a friend suffered to wrong me in a business, and the Lord withdrew, and then I was as bullock unaccustomed to the yoak; I could not get it born until I mourned for my folly in thinking that nature could do any thing in me, without affiliating grace, then he helped me to make a full resignation of new, of all that was mine, and to look beyond all earthly portions unto that noble inheritance which thou hast purchased with blood and gave me a full contentedness in all my sufferings both from friends and foes.

And when thou didst (for the tryal of my faith and patience) throw me in very hot flames of affliction, having all discouragements from the world, that a poor could be trysted with, and that which was forest to me, not having that measure of the sense of thy presence as sometimes before. But O that condescendance, O! that fatherly love that did not suffer me to link in this storm, which was lightly looked on by the most part, few to sympathize with me, but many thinking it their duty to add to my affliction. O praises! praises be to thee, who in that time helped me to sit silent, bearing thy indignation patiently, because I sinned against thee; yet thy mercies did not fail towards me, but thou did in this ty