Page:Account of the particular soliloquies and covenant engagements.pdf/3



Lord I deſire to bleſs thy name for thy former loving kindeſs unto me, in the day of my ſtrait, in helping and ſtanding by me, when overcharg'd with affliction, and deſerted of friends: What was I and my fathers houſe? A poor infufficient creature, taken up with nothing but vanities of all ſorts? O what moved ſo holy a God, ever to condefcend to look upon me; and paſs by ſo many much more worthy than poor undeſerving me? O praiſes be unto thee! O moſt high! O that my tongue were employ'd thro' time in magnifying the holy name of ſo merciful a God, may not I ſay, his mercies are over all his other works to me, may not I ſit down and admire of free love: Firſt, In inclining my heart to love him and his people, and in caſting my lot amongſt the godly, and in beſtowing a godly and kind husband upon me, (when left deſtitute without father or mother) and that he did ſo care for me as not to ſuffer me to enjoy the deſires of my heart, but was at pains to hedge in my way with thorns, and his infinite love ſuffered me not to ſit at my eaſe: enjoying my pleaſures in the day of Zions calamity. And prepared the way by ſmaller tryals for greater. Thou did in thy infinite wiſdom not at firſt caſt me into the hotteſt flames of the furnace, leaſt I ſhould not have been able to ſtand, but in fright fainted and turned back; but O praiſe! praiſe be to him that inhabites eternity, that condeſcended ſo far to me a worm, as ſweetly to train me up, alluring me and ſpeaking comfortably to me at my firſt entry into the wilderneſs: Thou cauſed thy word to be to my ſoul as the honey, and the honey comb. Thou made me ſit under thy ſhadow with great delight, and thy fruit was ſweet unto my tatte, ſo that many a time which to onlookers was ſad, was ſweet to me, the Lord did ſo ſupport, and fealled me in his banqueting houſe, that I was made to rejoice in the midſt of my tribulations. Likewiſe thou did not ſuffer me to go on with theſe who were indifferent in Chriſts matters, but with thy rod thou didſt raiſe ſuch a zeal and love on my ſpirit, and ſo filled my mouth with arguments, that I could not ſee any thing like defection from, or wrong done to any of thy truths, without reſenting, teſtifying and contending againſt it, thou ſo far changed my heart which was proud and haughty, much diſdain-