Page:Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field.djvu/158

 MARK GOT ARRESTED IN BERLIN

It was in Koernerstrasse No. 7, of course, and it happened in this way. Mark, his wife, Mrs. Crane, the three children, and the governess were having breakfast when Gretchen came in, excitement written all over her face; as Mark said: "You could hear her heart beat. There was a frightful commotion under her shirtwaist."

"'Gracious Lord,' she said, addressing me, 'there is a Mister Policeman outside who wants to see you. Gracious Lord.'

"'Tell him to go to blazes,' I said, Susan translating the American classic into even more classic German.

"'My God,' groaned Gretchen, *I could never say anything like that to a Mister Policeman. He is a Mister Policeman, don't you understand. Gracious Lord?'

"'Well,' I said, 'I haven't had any breakfast, and if the Kaiser himself called I would throw him out.'

"At this moment there was a peremptory knock at the door and a raspy voice bellowed:

"'Wird's bald?' (Aren't you coming?)

"Now I got real mad and telling Susie to get the revolver we didn't have in the house, I went to the door.

"'I am Mr. Clemens,' I said to the limb of the law. 'What do you want at this unearthly hour, of an American citizen? More taxes? I have paid taxes on a dog 154