Page:A short account of the life and death of John Dillon..djvu/5



During my recovery from a third fit of sickness, the Holy Spirit began to work powerfully in me, bringing all my sins to my remembrance, which had been from my very childhood. Now the constant cry of my heart was, "What must I do to be saved?” And as soon as I got better, I went to church every day: but when ever the commandments were read in the communion service, I was cut to the heart, and at the end of each, my cry was, "Guilty, O God! I am the man! But have mercy upon me, and I will never do so any more.”

I continued thus for about eight or ten days: when on Friday, Oct. 11, 1757, in the forenoon the Curate read (the second lesson) the 15th of St. Luke. From the beginning of the chapter I found that cloud which was on my soul begin to give way. At the 10th verse my despair almost past away, and the tears began to flow from my eyes. Yet I was not satisfied: I thought something was wanting, but could not tell what it was. I felt a straitness in my heart: but at the beginning of the parable of the prodigal, I was all attention. I do not remember, that one thought wandered from the narrative while it was reading: I found myself the very man. With my whole heart I joined in that, I will arise and go unto my Father. My heart now began to soften much more; and from the 19th to the end of 23d verse, I found all within me just like wax melting before the fire. And when those words were read, This my Son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost and is found, my soul was fully set at liberty, from all guilt and condemnation for past sins. My heart rejoiced in God my Saviour, and my mouth broke out in holy praise. I came home rejoicing to my wife, and told her, I believed some good thing had happened to me. I could then express myself in no better manner: for I did not understand what Justification meant.