Page:A Prisoner of the Khaleefa.djvu/233

Rh hard lot, and guardedly, very guardedly, breathe a hope that, in some way and by some means, our release would come, but I have no recollection that we ever confided to each other any plans for escape. Father Ohrwalder knew that I had had letters written by some Greeks, but I do not think he knew of any of my plans. That we did not openly discuss such plans now appears to me strange — and yet it is not strange. Where all led for years a life of falsehood, in which deception of self had a no less part than that of Others, suspicious of every one around us, trusting no one, what wonder that deceit became a second nature, and that truth, honour, and morality — that 1s to say, morality as preached in Europe — should have retired to vanishing point!

When I heard of Father Ohrwalder's escape, the conclusion I at once jumped to was that my guides, seeing the impossibility of effecting my escape from Khartoum, had come to some arrangement with him. How fervently I cursed them all, but I did not pray for their recapture. Even had I done so, it would have been useless. There was nothing, provided you had money with which to purchase camels and arrange a couple of relays in the desert, to prevent every one who wished to, escaping from Omdurman. Your guides had only to lead you away from any settlements; no pursuers could overtake you once you reached your first relay, fast as their camels might go, and you would travel at twice the speed the news of your flight could, besides having some hours' start of it. In the event of your coming