Page:010 Once a week Volume X Dec 1863 to Jun 64.pdf/241

 Feb.

ONCE A WEEK.

20, 1864.]

any of the personages began to

grave and solemn composure, demeaning himself like this John Thomas of comedy. I speak strongly on this point, because the

expected when of losing her

chief actors in the piece used language such as people in their position might naturally

the weather by Admiral Fitzroy, and remarkweather was about to turn to

ing, that the rain whenever

cry, or that storms might be his wife seemed on the point

temper.

but

have employed, and behaved themselves like The accessoordinary ladies and gentlemen.

All this I could have overlo.

why was

this estimable

man

— who, we

are

the other hand, were

given to understand, was rather a gay old boy out of doors, and somewhat too fond of his club attired at every period of the four-andIs it comtwenty hours in evening costume. in any class of modern English society for middle-aged gentlemen to go out at midday Avith tail coats, black unmentionables, and white chokers 1 Why, I ask, is a gentleman

mon

however, I admit, possible that even a gentleman, devoted to his wife, might in some rash moment have stolen a kiss is,

well-bred

from the lips of a very pretty girl, and might, on account of her looks, put up with a good deal of impertinence.

A

considerable licence

must be allowed upon the stage, and dramatic chambermaids are traditionally expected to be pert. My chief indignation, therefore, was concentrated on the footman, who was not even supposed to be an old and spoiled servant, but was taken as an ordinary type of a

This individual, genteel London flunkey. whose dress was more like that of an itinerant of an ordinary " Jeaines," behaved himself throughout in a fashion which

showman than

nothing but chronic drunkenness could account

He

down

in his employer's presence, helped himself to the repast provided for his for.

sat

spun round on one leg like a teetotum, played antics, took kicks from his master as a matter of course, and misconducted master,

manner that a London footman would never dream of doing. Such a character would have been intelligible

himself in every conceivable

in

"High Life below Stairs ;" but the piece in which he was introduced was intended to be an accurate delineation of modern English middle-class life. As I looked upon his performance, I could not but think of houses, belonging to the very class of inmates whose life was depicted before me houses where I had often met the author ; and wondering what he or I should have thought or said if we had soen the footman, who waits upon us with a

life

idea was worked out.

I

ago?



than the circumstances by which this Harassed by the importunities of his wife's aunt, the hero of the piece wishes to bring matters to a climax, and the house of his wife's parents in a hull". The next morning we find him in possession of a house of his own, which he had looked out, taken, furnished, and occupied, in less than Aladdin's lamp and twenty-four hours' time. Fortunatus' purse combined can no doubt work greater wonders than this, but the piece in which this marvellous tour de force occurs is not an extravaganza, or even a sensation drama of the Monte Cristo order, but a sober deli-

unlike

of the present year of grace expected to appear on the stage in the costume of half a century

Then, of course there was a comic footman and a pert chambermaid. As to the latter, she was attired in a manner which would cause her instant dismissal, even by the most and she winked long-suffering of mistresses and flirted with a sublime contempt for the ordinary relations between masters and servants.

villa:.

and utterly improbable. Moreover, though the dialogue was good enough and the id the plot ingenious, yet nothing could be more

—

It

233

j

'

I

The stratagem fails, and neation of real life. the prodigal husband is about to sink back beneath the yoke of his wife's relations for ever, when a Deus ex machind appears to him from his bondage, in the person of This nautical a young sailor brother-in-law. individual, who, in order I suppose to resemblo the sailor of real life, is a very pretty young lady dressed in male attire, exhibits his or her maritime profession by wearing a very Happily becoming and tight-fitting uniform. the lion's name is thus printed beneath the lion's portraiture, or otherwise I should most release

have mistaken the gay young certainly lieutenant for a dancing-master, or for the His primo Ballerino of the Italian stage. usual mode of moving about the room was by a hop, skip, and a jump, terminating with a and the free good-humour of the pirouette jolly tar was exhibited by a habit of slapping everybody on the back upon every possible

occasion,

and by

calling

his

father

"dad,"

This gay both in speaking to him and of him. young dog announces, almost without taking breath, that he had been privately married for a year to a Miss Smith, that he had lost his wife in her first confinement, and wa

One would lively baby. have thought that this was rather a startling announcement from the lips of one's son and heir, but his parents and family receive it as much as a matter of course as if he told them he had picked up sixpence in the streets. happy father of a

No

questions are asked, not the slightest anxiety is evinced as to the character of the