Paddy McGinty's Goat

Mr. Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note Fell into a fortune and he bought himself a goat Says he, "sure a goat's milk, I'm goin' to have me fill" But when he brought the nanny home he found it was a bill All the young ladies who live in Killaloe They're all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do They each wear a bolster beneath their petticoat And save the rest for providence and for Paddy McGinty's goat

Mrs. Burke to her daughter said, "listen Mary Ann Who is the lad you were cuddlin' in the lane He had long wiry whiskers hangin' from his chin" "Twas only Pat McGinty's goat," she answered with a grin Then she went away from the village in disgrace She came back with powder and paint upon herface She'd rings on her fingers and she wore a sable coat You can bet your life she never got that from Paddy McGinty's goat

Little Nora Mccarthy the knot was goin' to tie She washed out her trousseau and she hung it out to dry Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white He chewed up all her falderals and on her wedding night "Oh turn out the gas quick," she shouted out to Pat "For though I'm your bride sure I'm not worth lookin' at I had two of everything I told you when I wrote But now I'm wearing nothin' thanks to Paddy McGinty's goat"

Mickey Reilly he went to the races the other day He won twenty dollars and he shouted "Hip Hooray" He held up the bank-note sayin' "Look at what I've got" Along came Paddy McGinty's goat and swallowed up the lot "He's eaten me bank note" said Mickey with the hump They sent for the doctor to get the stomach pump Oh they pumped and they pumped for the twenty dollar note But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat

Well the bould Irish guards, you'd think it was romance They adopted the goat and they brought him off to France The day that they landed he heard the bugle blow He ducked his little cranium and he ran to meet the foe The Germans retreated, hurriedly they fled Holding their noses they tumbled over dead "Ach," says the Kaiser, "there's poison gas afloat, But it was only the effluvium from Paddy McGinty's goat"

Off the west coast of Ireland one morning they were seen As plain as any pikes there were German submarines When coast-guard Maloney fell into a fit Says Paddy McGinty's goat, "It's time for me to do me bit" He jumped into the water as frisky as a whale Swam around the u-boat wagging his little tail He upped with his horn and he stuck it in the boat And sent them all to Heligoland did Paddy McGinty's Goat

Now Paddy McGinty's goat had a wondrous appetite One morning for breakfast he ate some dynamite Then a big box of matches he swallowed with a grin And when he had his fill of that he drank some paraffin He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang Swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang So, if you go to heaven you can bet your dollar note That the angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's goat