Married Love/notes

ASSUMING now that the two are in the closest mental and spiritual, as well as sensory harmony: in what position should the act be consummated? Men and women, looking into each other's eyes, kissing tenderly on the mouth, with their arms round each other, meet face to face. And that position is symbolic of the coming together of the two who meet gladly. It is usual in civilized societies for the man to lie above the woman as she reclines on her back. Indeed a curious idea seems to exist that it is "immoral" or "humiliating" for the man if the position is reversed. Yet Ovid recommends it to little women, and where the woman is muscularly delicate and easily crushed there is no doubt that it is a position much more likely to give her pleasure. To make it quite satisfactory to the man, the woman must be tender and supple and skilled in the charm and movements of love-play. When this is so there may be an exquisite grace in the event, as though there had entered into it the poetry and beauty of the picture of the sleeping Endymion over whom the floating goddess Diana stooped.

It seems incredible that to-day educated men should be found who – apparently on theological grounds – refuse to countenance this position. Yet one wife told me that she was crushed and nearly suffocated by her husband so that it took her hours to recover after each union, but that "on principle" he refused to attempt any other position than the one he chose to consider normal.

It is perhaps not generally realized how great are the variations of size, shape, and position of all the sex parts of the body in different individuals, yet they differ more even than the size and character of all the features of the face and hands. It happens therefore that the position which suits most people is unsatisfactory for others. Some, for instance, can only enjoy union when both are lying on their sides. Though medically this is generally considered unfavorable or prohibitive for conception, yet I know women who have had several children and who always used this position. In this matter every couple should find out for themselves which of the many possible positions best suits them both.

I invite letters from those who can confirm, qualify or correct my views from their own experience. To obtain scientific knowledge the largest possible number of individual cases must be studied.

While I believe that the charts I give of the Law of Periodicity of recurrence of desire truly represent the fundamental rhythm of average healthy women, it must be remembered that my theory is new, and every well-authenticated case for or against it will be valuable. All communications will be treated with the strictest confidence.
 * M.C. Stopes