Grimm Tales Made Gay/How the Peaceful Aladdin Gave Way to His Madness

His name was Aladdin. The clothes he was clad in     Proclaimed him an Arab at sight, And he had for a chum An uncommonly rum Old afreet, six cubits in height. This person infernal, Who seemed so fraternal, At bottom was frankly a scamp: His future to sadden, He gave to Aladdin A wonderful magical lamp.

A marvel he dubbed it. He said if one rubbed it     One’s wishes were done on the spot. Now what would you do Were it offered to you? Refuse it undoubtedly (not)! It’s thus comprehensive With pleasure extensive Aladdin accepted the gift, And, by it befriended, Erected a splendid Château, with a bath and a lift!

Not dreaming of malice, One year in his palace He led a luxurious life, Till his genius dread Put it into his head That he needed a beautiful wife. Responding to friction, The lamp this affliction At once for Aladdin secured; The latter, delighted, Imagined he sighted A future of quiet assured.

When gladly he chose her, He didn’t suppose her A philatelist, always agape For novelties, yet She had all of the set. Of triangular stamps of the Cape. Some people malicious Proclaimed her Mauritius One-penny vermilion a sell. But that was all rot. It Was true she had got it, And the tuppenny blue one as well!

Since thus she collected, As might be expected, She didn’t for bric-a-brac care, So she traded the lamp For an Ecuador stamp That somebody told her was rare! This act served to madden The mind of Aladdin, But, ’spite of his impotent wrath, His manor-house vanished, To nothingness banished, And while he was taking a bath!

The average Arab Is hard as a scarab When some one has wounded his pride, So he jumped up and down, With a cynical frown, On the face of his beautiful bride! He had picked up a cargo Of curious argot While living in Paris the gay; In the slang of that city He cried without pity: “Comme ça tu me fich’ras la paix!”

The Moral: When stamps you’re adept on     Of risks you are reckless, and yet Beware! If your face is once stepped on, That’s the last stamp you’re likely to get!