Familiar Colloquies/The Profane Banquet

The PROFANE FEAST.

The ARGUMENT.

Our Erasmus most elegantly proposes all the Furniture of this Feast; the Discourses and Behaviour of the Entertainer and the Guests, &c. ''Water and a Bason before Dinner. The Stoics, the Epicureans; the Form of the Grace at Table. It is good Wine that pleases four Senses. Why Bacchus is the Poets God; why he is painted a Boy. Mutton very wholsome. That a Man does not live by Bread and Wine only. Sleep makes some Persons fat. Venison is dear. Concerning Deers, Hares, and Geese: They of old defended the Capitol at'' Rome. ''Of Cocks, Capons and Fishes. Here is discoursed of by the by, Fasting. Of the Choice of Meats. Some Persons Superstition in that Matter. The Cruelty of those Persons that require these Things of those Persons they are hurtful to; when the eating of Fish is neither necessary, nor commanded by Christ. The eating of Fish is condemned by Physicians. The chief Luxury of old Time consisted in Fishes. We should always live a sober Life. What Number of Guests there should be at an Entertainment. The Bill of Fare of the second Course. The Magnificence of the'' French. ''The ancient Law of Feasts. Either drink, or begone. A Variation of Phrases. Thanksgiving after Meat.''

AUSTIN, CHRISTIAN, a BOY.

CHRISTIAN, GUESTS, MIDAS, ERASMUS, the BOY, AUSTIN. * * * * *

''It is not worth hearing. The Form.''
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 * Au. || You have very fitly made Use of the latter Supine. It is not worth hearing. It is unworthy to be heard. It is not worthy to be heard. It is so light it ought not to be heard. It is scarce worth While to relate. It is not of such Value as to be heard. It is too silly to be heard. It is not worth While to tell it.
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 * Ch. || How many Ways may this Sentence be turn'd, Magno mihi constat?

* * * * *

The Ratio of varying this Sentence.

Magno mihi constat.

The ARGUMENT.

A short Rule concerning this Copia, it teaches how to vary a Sentence pleasantly, copiously, easily, frequently, and elegantly; by short Rules given, and by a Praxis upon these Rules, in an elegant Turning of one Phrase.

In the first Place, it is to be set forth in pure and choice Latin Words; which to do is no mean Piece of Art: For there are a great many, who do, I don't know after what Manner, affect the Copia and Variation of Phrase, when they don't know how to express it once right. It is not enough for them to have babbled once, but they must render the Babble much more babbling, by first one, and then by another turning of it; as if they were resolv'd to try the Experiment, how barbarously they were able to speak: And therefore, they heap together, certain simple synonymous Words, that are so contrary one to the other, that they may admire themselves how they do agree together. For what is more absurd, than that a ragged old Fellow, that has not a Coat to his Back, but what is so ragged that he may be ashamed to put it on, should every now and then change his Rags, as though he design'd to shew his Beggary by Way of Ostentation: And those Affectators of Variety seem equally ridiculous, who, when they have spoken barbarously once, repeat the same Thing much more barbarously; and then over and over again much more unlearnedly. This is not to abound with Sentences, but Solæcisms: Therefore, in the first Place, as I have said, the Thing is to be express'd in apt and chosen Words. 2. And then we must use Variety of Words, if there are any to be found, that will express the same Thing; and there are a great many. 3. And where proper Words are wanting, then we must use borrow'd Words, so the Way of borrowing them be modest. 4. Where there is a Scarcity of Words, you must have Recourse to Passives, to express what you have said by Actives; which will afford as many Ways of Variation, as there were in the Actives. 5. And after that, if you please, you may turn them again by verbal Nouns and Participles. 6. And last of all, when we have chang'd Adverbs into Nouns, and Nouns sometimes into one Part of Speech, and sometimes into another; then we may speak by contraries. 7. We may either change affirmative Sentences into negative, or the contrary. 8. Or, at least, what we have spoken indicatively, we may speak interrogatively. Now for Example Sake, let us take this Sentence.

_Literæ tuæ magnopere me delectærunt.

Your Letters have delighted me very much._

Litertæ.

Epistle, little Epistles, Writings, Sheets, Letters.

Magnopere.

After a wonderful Manner, wonderfully, in a greater, or great Manner, in a wonderful Manner, above Measure, very much, not indifferently (not a little) mightily, highly, very greatly.

Me.

My Mind, my Breast, my Eyes, my Heart, Christian.

Delectærunt.

They have affected, recreated, exhilarated with Pleasure, have been a Pleasure, have delighted, have bath'd me with Pleasure; have been very sweet, very pleasant, &c.

Now you have Matter, it is your Business to put it together: Let us try.
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 * Ch. || Thy Letters have very greatly delighted me. Thy Epistle has wonderfully chear'd me.
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 * Au. || Turn the Active into a Passive, then it will look with another Face. As, It can't be said how much I have been chear'd by thy Writings.

Also by other Verbs effecting the same Thing.

I have received an incredible Pleasure from thy Writings. I have receiv'd very much Pleasure from your Highness's Letter. Your Writings have brought me not an indifferent Joy. Your Writings have overwhelmed me all over with Joy. "But here you can't turn these into Passives, only in the last, perfusus gaudio, as is commonly said, Pleasure was taken by me, Joy was brought, is not so commonly used, or you must not use so frequently."

By Affido.

Thy Letter hath affected me with a singular Pleasure.

Change it into a Passive.

I am affected with an incredible Pleasure by thy Letter. Thy little Epistle has brought not a little Joy.

By Sum and Nouns Adjectives.

Thy Letters have been most pleasant to me many Ways. That Epistle of thine was, indeed, as acceptable, as any Thing in the World.

By Nouns Substantives.

Thy Letter was to us an unspeakable Pleasure. Your Letter was an incredible Pleasure to us.

Change it into a Negative.

Thy Letter was no small Joy. Nothing in Life could happen more delightful than thy Letters. "Although I have sometimes already made Use of this Way, which is not to be pass'd over negligently. For when we would use multum, plurimum, to signify, singulariter, we do it by a contrary Verb." As, Henry loves you mightily: He loves you with no common Love. Wine pleases me very much: It pleases me not a little. He is a Man of a singular Wit: A Man of no ordinary Wit. He is a Man of admirable Learning: He is a Man not of contemptible Learning. Thomas was born in the highest Place of his Family: Not in the lowest Place. Austin was a most eloquent Man: He was not ineloquent. Carneades the Orator was noble: Not an ignoble, not an obscure Man. "And the like, which are very frequently used." But the Mention of a Thing so plain is enough: Nor are you ignorant, that we make Use of a two-fold Manner of Speech, of this Kind: For Modesty Sake, especially, if we speak of our selves; also for Amplification Sake. For we use rightly and elegantly, not ungrateful, for very grateful; not vulgarly for singularly.

For Modesty Sake.

I have by my Letters gain'd some Reputation of Learning. I have always made it my Business not to have the last Place in the Glory of Learning. The Examples of Amplification are mention'd before: Now let us return to our own. Nothing ever fell out to me more gratefully, acceptably, than thy Letter. Nothing ever was a greater Pleasure than your Letter. I never took so much Pleasure in any Thing, as in thy most loving Letters. "After this Manner all the before-mention'd Sentences may be vary'd by an Interrogation." What in Life could be more pleasant than thy Letters? What has happened to me more sweet, than thy Letter? What has ever delighted me like your last Letter? And after this Manner you may vary almost any Sentence.

There is a Translation in these.

I have received your Letters, which were sweet as Honey. Your Writings seem to be nothing but meer Delight. Your Letters are a meer Pleasure; and a great many of the like Kinds. "But Care is to be taken not to make Use of harder Translations; such as this that follows,

Jupiter hybernas canæ nive conspuit Alpes.

such as this is." The Suppers of thy Writings have refreshed me with most delicious Banquets.

A Comparison by Simile.

Thy Writings have been sweeter than either Ambrosia or Nectar. Thy Letters have been sweeter to me than any Honey. Your kind Letter has excell'd even Liquorish, Locusts, and Attic Honey, and Sugar; nay, even the Nectar and Ambrosia of the Gods. "And here, whatsoever is ennobled with Sweetness, may be brought into the Comparison."

From Examples.

I will never be induc'd to believe, that Hero receiv'd the Letters of her Leander, either with greater Pleasure, or more Kisses, than I received yours. I can scarce believe that Scipio, for the Overthrow of Carthage, or Paulus Ã†mylius, for the taking of Perseus, ever triumphed more magnificently than I did, when the Post-man gave me your most charming Letter. "There are a thousand Things of this Nature, that may be found in Poets and Historians. Likewise Similitudes are borrow'd from Natural Philosophy; the Nature of a great many of which, it is necessary to keep in Memory. Now if you please, we will try in another Sentence."

I will never forget you while I live.

I will always remember you, as long as I live. Forgetfulness of you, shall never seize me as long as I live. I will leave off to live, before I will to remember you.

By Comparisons.

If the Body can get rid of its Shadow, then this Mind of mine may forget you. The River Lethe itself shall never be able to wash away your Memory.

"Besides, by an Impossibility, or after the Manner of Poets by contraries. Â Dum juga montis aper, fluvios dum piscis amabit. Â Ante leves ergo pastentur in athere cervi.

which is no hard Matter to invent." But lest I should seem tedious, at the present let these suffice: At another Time, if you please, we will talk more copiously of this Matter.