Elemoont/Chapter 37

tells of Mr. Moonswitcher's dissatisfaction about a demonstration of the elemoonts.

So, liberated elemoonts started to dance.
 * "We are elephants,
 * But we're from the Moon,
 * Hence we're elemoonts!"

were singing the elemoonts their song and loudly stamping their feet.

"It is a true tramp of elemoonts that was greatly missed for me, "said the Elemoont.

"It's painful to listen," said the Cat (cats don't like any noise), "but in general, there is some charm in it."

"A charm? Not bad!" leaned from behind a stone Insidious Lunatic, "In our Lunar Labyrinth all plaster is falling from their tramping!"

"Of course, we, elemoonts, cannot boast of our ears for music," said the Oldest Elemoont (that was like a silver mountain), but you, lunatics, should not tell lies. There is no any plastic in your Lunar Labyrinth!"

"Yes. There is no any plastic in our Lunar Labyrinth," agreed Insidious Lunatic, "But we, lunatics, never tell lies!"

"What must we understand it?" were astonished the elemoonts.

"You may understand it just you like!"

"We don't want to understand it!"

"If you don't want to understand it, you may don't understand!"

Here our Elemoont seeing that a new quarrel was beginning, cried, «Please, live at peace! Caramba!"

All lapsed into silence, only the Insidious Lunatic did not quiet down, "Repeat, repeat what did you say?"

"I said what you had heard!" snarled the Elemoont and then added more peacefully, "This is not the moment to a quarrel, and it is the very moment to make it up."

"Why on earth should we do it?" cantankerously asked the lunatics who all already climbed out of their Labyrinth and were ready to continue their ‘discussion’ with the elemoonts.

"We all are in a great danger!"

"Danger? On our nice, safe Moon? It's impossible!" said the Learned Lunatic, "Although some mad mosquitoes attacked us not long ago. And what must we wait for at the present moment?"

"I don't know any mad mosquitoes, but at the present moment the danger is more serious," assured lunatics the Elemoont, "The Great Magician of Cosmos, Mr. Moonswitcher decided to extinguish all moons in the Universe."

"And our Moon?" asked the moon’s elephants. "And our Moon?" was surprised the lunatics

"Yes, and our and your moon, "said the Elemoont, "The Moon is one for all us."

"By the by, Mr. Moonswitcher already is here," reported the Cat.

"Where is he?" exclaimed the elemoonts–hunters and began to aim with their double trunks into diverse sides.

"Where is he?" exclaimed the elemoonts–pathfinders and began to smell the air, or rather, the vacuum.

"I think, he is on the backside of the Moon," said the Elemoont, "and prepares to fulfill his wish."

"It will never happen!" exclaimed the moon’s elephants and all angrily stamped their feet.

Mr. Moonswitcher, who really was on the backside of the Moon, felt the tramping of the moon elephants and was amazed,.

"Well," said he, "the Moon had shaken!"

The Hunter and the Mosquito in their retort also heard the tramp. "It's like a tramp of elephants–for–hunters," said the Mosquito, "Do you remember it?"

"Say so!" answered the Hunter, "I hope they soon arrive and bombard that suspicious queer fellow with their cherry–stones."

"Keep silence!" was frightened the Mosquito, "He is no a ‘queer fellow’! He is a Great Magician of Cosmos, who can put off any moon! He, I'm afraid, will begin to get annoyed."

"Just it thing I am going to do," informed them Mr. Moonswitcher, "At first I'll get furious and then I pulverize you! Although…I'll, at first, extinguish the Moon. When the Moon goes out, absolute darkness come and will be very hard to hit me with any cherry–stones…" and the Great Magician became thoughtful. "What thing must I use to extinguish the Moon? A post stamps? A lime?"

"How can he extinguish the Moon with a lime?" was amazed the Hunter.

"I don't know," said the Mosquito, "But he can! We must immediately undertake something!"

And here the Hunter had an inspiration. He lifted his gun and fired a shot. The magician's retort broke into smithereens.

"Oh!" exclaimed Mr. Moonswitcher, "How dare you to break my property?"

He took a big magic wand, which was like a bludgeon, gracefully waved with it, and muttered an incantation, "Carambura–Murambura!" In the instant thousands splinters of glass gathered, and the Hunter and the Mosquito found themselves in the retort again.

"He had launched the time backwards!" defined the Mosquito who already met such things in his wanderings, "Check yours shot–gun, is it loaded?"

"It's loaded!" was astonished the Hunter, "But I just made a shot. How can it remain loaded?"

"I'll explain it to you later on. Try to remember, what did Mr. Moonswitcher sad some seconds ago?"

"He talked some nonsense."

"It's no a nonsense! It is the spell launching the time backwards. Try to remember, it's very important!"

Meanwhile Mr. Moonswitcher got out of his box the post–stamps with an inscription, "The Moon №—__ is extinguished __(dd)__(mm)__(yy)". At that moment, a red–hared person rushed into the cave. He was all red and even his shoes and trousers were red. He had also long red moustaches. Of course, you recognize Mr. Red, but the Hunter and the Mosquito could not do it. They never saw Mr. Red.

"Where is the great solidarity of sorcerers?" exclaimed Mr. Red appealing to Mr. Moonswitcher, "Why you had extinguished my triangular and square moons?"

"For the training," answered Mr. Moonswitcher in nonchalant tone, "Your top hat cracked and your moons flew away in different directions. They were nobody's moons."

Mr. Red became far redder with rage. "I'll repair my top hat!" stated he, "But instead of triangular and square moons I'll gather cooled brands! I thought you are a respectable person, but you are simply a stupid juggler!"

Mr. Moonswitcher dropped his post–stamps from astonishment, "What? And it I have heard from Mr. Red, simple cosmic cockroach?"

"Hist!" hissed Mr. Red, "Our readers must not know it!"

"You'll better think about yourself!" thundered Mr. Moonswitcher "I'll change you into a toad!"

"And I'll change you into a donkey!"

"What?"

"What you had heard!"

"I have remembered," said the Hunter, "I have remembered a spell. It seems, he said ‘Carambura–Murambura!’"

Only the Hunter pronounced those words his shot–gun fired again, and the retort again broke into smithereens, but neither Mr. Moonswitcher nor Mr. Red observed it. They were busy with their quarrel.

"We must hide, and quickly!" said the Mosquito pointed to the large box where Mr. Moonswitcher kept his magic wands, magic carpets, caps of invisibility and other things. They crept into the box and shut the top leaving only narrow chink to see their enemies. (In general, you must never get into any box and shut its cover. You can choke! Our friends did it only because it is all the same there is no any air on the Moon.)

Suddenly the Moon hardly shook. "What's it?" whispered the Hunter. "The moonquake?" "No," said the Mosquito, "Do you feel how rhythmically the surface of the Moon shakes? Obviously the elemoonts had gone to the demonstration."

"To the demonstration?"

"Yes. They go to the demonstration in some festive cases."

Really, the elemoonts had formed up a column and began to march singing a song in tune of ‘Yellow submarine’


 * "We are happy! We are happy!
 * We are going for a grand occasion…"

(That is why the Moon rhythmically shook). The pirates and the penguins also took up a formation and went together with the elemoonts. Penguins brought up the rear. They still distrustfully examined the Moon thinking, "There is no any ice–cream on the Moon. Our flight was no use."

And all parti-colored company set off for the backside of the Moon loudly stamping their feet and singing jaunty songs.