Davy and the Goblin/Chapter VI

Chapter VI. The Giant Badorful. “Goblin,” said Davy, very seriously, as the little man jumped down from off his back, “if you are going to play such tricks as that upon me I should like to go home at once.”

“Where’s the harm?” said the Goblin, sitting down on the grass with his back against a wall and smiling contentedly.

“The harm is that I thought it was Gobobbles,” said Davy, indignantly.

“Oh, you needn’t be afraid of Gobobbles!” said the Goblin. “He’s got all that he can attend to, taking care of himself. You see, he’s wanted for Christmas, but why anybody should want him to eat is more than I can understand. Why, he’s seventy years old if he’s a day, and as indigestible as an old cork.”

Just at this moment a loud, rumbling noise, like distant thunder, came from behind the wall against which the Goblin was leaning, followed by a tremendous sneeze, that fairly shook the ground.

“What’s that?” whispered Davy to the Goblin, in great alarm.

“It’s only Badorful,” said the Goblin, laughing. “He’s always snoring and waking himself up, and I suppose it’s sleeping on the ground that makes him sneeze. Let’s have a look at him;” and the Goblin led the way along the wall to a large grating.

Davy looked through the grating, and was much alarmed at seeing a giant, at least twenty feet in height, sitting on the ground, with his legs crossed under him like a tailor. He was dressed in a shabby suit of red velveteen, with a great leathern belt about his waist and enormous boots, and Davy thought he looked terribly ferocious. On the grass beside him lay a huge club, thickly studded at one end with great iron knobs; but Davy noticed, to his great relief, that some little creeping vines were twining themselves among these knobs, and that moss was growing thickly upon one side of the club itself, as though it had been lying there untouched for a long time.

The giant was talking to himself in a low tone, and after listening attentively at the grating for a moment, the Goblin shrieked: “He’s making poetry!” and, throwing himself upon the ground, kicked up his heels in a perfect ecstasy of delight.

“Oh, hush, hush!” cried Davy, in terror. “Suppose he hears you!”

“Hears me!” said the Goblin, discontinuing his kicking and looking very much surprised. “What if he does?”

“Well, you know, he might not like being laughed at,” said Davy, anxiously.

“There’s something in that,” said the Goblin, staring reflectively at the ground.

“And, you see,” continued Davy, “a giant who doesn’t like what’s going on must be a dreadful creature.”

“Oh! there’s no fear of him” said the Goblin, contemptuously, motioning with his head toward the giant. “He’s too old. Why, I must have known him, off and on, for nearly two hundred years. Come in and see him.”

“Will he do anything?” said Davy, anxiously.

“Bless you, no!” said the Goblin. “He’s a perfect old kitten;” and with these words he pushed open the grating and passed through, with Davy following tremblingly at his heels. Badorful looked up with a feeble smile, and merely said, “Just listen to this:”— “Just listen to this.”

My age is three hundred and seventy-two,

And I think, with the deepest regret,

How I used to pick up and voraciously chew

The dear little boys whom I met.

I’ve eaten them raw, in their holiday suits;

I’ve eaten them curried with rice;

I’ve eaten them baked, in their jackets and boots,

And found them exceedingly nice.

But now that my jaws are too weak for such fare,

I think it exceedingly rude

To do such a thing, when I’m quite well aware

Little boys do not like to be chewed.

And so I contentedly live upon eels.

And try to do nothing amiss,

And I pass all the time I can spare from my meals

In innocent slumber—like this. Here Badorful rolled over upon his side, and was instantly fast asleep.

“You see,” said the Goblin, picking up a large stone and thumping with it upon the giant’s head, “you see, he’s quite weak here; otherwise, considering his age, he’s a very capable giant.”

At this moment a farmer, with bright red hair, thrust his head in at the grating, and calling out, “Here comes Gobobbles!” disappeared again; and Davy and the Goblin rushed out, and were just in time to see Gobobbles go by like a flash, with a crowd of people armed with pitchforks in hot pursuit. Gobobbles was going in fine style, bounding over the hedges and stone-walls like a kangaroo, and thumping vigorously, as usual, with his wings, and Davy and the Goblin were just setting off on a run to join in the chase, when a voice said, “Ahem!” and, looking up, they saw Badorful staring at them over the top of the wall.

“How does this strike you?” he said, addressing himself to Davy:— Although I am a giant of the exhibition size,

I’ve been nicely educated, and I notice with surprise

That the simplest rules of etiquette you don’t pretend to keep,

For you skurry off to races while a gentleman’s asleep.

Don’t reply that I was drowsy, for my nap was but a kind

Of dramatic illustration of a peaceful frame of mind;

And you really might have waited till I woke again, instead

Of indelicately pounding, with a stone, upon my head.

Very probably you’ll argue that our views do not agree,—

I’ve often found that little boys have disagreed with me,—

But I’m properly entitled, on the compensation plan,

To three times as much politeness as an ordinary man.

Davy was greatly distressed at having these severe remarks addressed tohim.

“If you please, sir,” he said earnestly, “I didn’t pound you.”

At this the giant glared savagely at the Goblin, and continued:— My remarks have been directed at the one who, I supposed,

Had been violently thumping on my person while I dozed;

By a simple calculation, you will find that there is due

Just six times as much politeness from a little chap like you.

“Oh! you make me ill!” said the Goblin, flippantly. “Go to sleep.”

Badorful stared at him for a moment, and then, with a sickly smile, murmured, “Good-afternoon,” and disappeared behind the wall.

Davy and the Goblin now hurried off in pursuit of Gobobbles, and presently came upon the crowd of farmers who had joined hands in a ring, and were dancing around a large white object lying on the ground. Davy pushed his way eagerly through the crowd, expecting to see Gobobbles; but the white object proved to be the Cockalorum hemmed in by a ring of pitchforks sticking in the ground, and with his feathers more rumpled than ever. Cockalorum hemmed in by a ring of pitchforks.

“Dear me!” exclaimed Davy, perfectly amazed, “I thought we were chasing Gobobbles!”

“Of course you did,” said the Goblin, complacently; “but in this part of the world things very often turn out to be different from what they would have been if they hadn’t been otherwise than as you expected they were going to be.”

“But you thought so yourself,” began Davy, when, to his distress, the Goblin suddenly faded into a dull pinkish color, and then disappeared altogether. Davy looked about him, and found that the Cockalorum and the dancing farmers had also disappeared, and that he was quite alone in a dense wood.