Ben King's Verse/No Harm Done

Excuse me, Mr. Handy, for a-droppin' you a  line, But the fact is, I've arrived in town and feelin' mighty fine; I'm stoppin' at the Press Club, er that's where I  take my meals, An' I must say I'm agitatin' some colossal deals; But what I want to ask you is, 'at seems a-botherin' me, Is your hippodrome at Jackson Park, that's what I  want to see; I'd lay all careful pains aside an' wear a steady grin 'F I thought 'at you could work some scheme Of gittin' of me in. Course, if you say they isn't,                    I'll say I's just in fun, An' we'll just let it go at that-- They's no harm done.

Say, Handy, what I want is so's I can push my phiz All 'round the hull World's Fair grounds an see everything they is, An' when a C'lumbian guard comes up unmannerly and gruff, I'll flash the pass you give me, Handy, that'll be  enough An' passin' on an' mirrorin' my face in the lagoon Where that fellow is a-standin'--now what's his name?--Neptune. I want to see you, Major, yes, I want to grasp your fin, 'Cause I know 'at you could work some scheme Of gittin' of me in. Course, if you say they isn't,                    I'll say I's just in fun, An' we'll just let it go at that-- They's no harm done.

I want to see the state buildin's an' all ther' is there, I want to see that queer machine that turns out com- pressed air, Th' Administration Buildin' an' th' Agricultural Hall-- I tell you, Major, hones'ly, I want to see it all. I'll be alone mos' of the time an' nothin' 's goin' to  please Me better than to get acquainted with those Javanese. Don't say a word! Say, Handy, I must brace you agin: Is they any possibility Of gittin' of me in? Course, if you say they isn't,                    I'll say I's just in fun, An' we'll just let it go at that-- They's no harm done.

I've read the weekly papers, Major, out at old St. Joe, They ain't been nothin' in 'em 'at the country folks don't know. Some wants to see machinery, some paintin's, an' some fish, Some want to hear the music, too, but I tell you my  wish Is just to see them foreign girls from Spain an' sunny France, An' Abdul Something, what-'s-his-name, that's got them girls 'at dance Out there in Midway Plaisance, an' the Sultan an' his kin. Oh, Handy, you must fix some scheme Of gittin' of me in? Course, if you say they isn't,                    I'll say I's just in fun, An' we'll just let it go at that-- They's no harm done.