Ben King's Verse/If My Wife Taught School

If I had a wife 'at taught school I would go To far-away countries. I'd fish from the Po In a gondola gay, and the splash o' my oar Would be heard by the natives around Singapore If my wife taught school, I would, wouldn't you? Er wouldn't yuh? Enny way, what would you do?

If I had a wife 'at taught school I would get Something fine in the shape of a furniture set; If I could pay my board and she could pay hern, There's a good many nice little things I could earn. If my wife taught school, I would, wouldn't you? Er wouldn't yuh? Enny way, what would you do?

If my wife taught school you can bet I would fly Like a condor, I'd roost pretty middlin' high; I'd wear a silk tile and own hosses, I vow, And do lots of things I ain't doin' now. If my wife taught school, I would, wouldn't you? Er wouldn't yuh? Enny way, what would you do?

If my wife taught school like some women do, And I couldn't earn quite enough for us two, I'd go in the barnyard, without any fuss, I would blow out my brains with a big blunderbuss. If my wife taught school, I would, wouldn't you? Er wouldn't yuh? Enny way, what would you do?