Bacteria, why do they make me sick?/Diseases caused by bacteria

Process for removal of cross contaminated micro habitats of cybernetic, spiritual and biological origin To avoid the spread of other people's microbial  contaminants first before leaving that individuals common dwelling. Have the person who supplied the suspected contaminants massage your body fully. This seems like it would cause a further contamination, but while there will be a slight comingling from this experience what will happen is the micro contaminants will be attracted and almost magnetized to return to their point of origin. Nearly every single microbe that you've contracted from that person will be brought to the surface to be expelled. The next step involves the same individual orally stimulating the sexual organs of the contaminated. The microbial invaders will be primed and ready to leave your body to return to their original host. You must ejaculate the microbes in as close a proximity as possible to that person's cranial orifices. The microbes will see this an opportunity to return to a host in which they thrived and as such the ejaculate will consist of nearly %100 microbes that originated from the other individual as they are magnetized to the surface by the initial massage. Once this process is completed you will feel renewed and rejuvenated. If you begin to feel you are contaminated by this person's microbes again the process may be repeated however many times necessary with improved results upon repititon.