An Essay in Defence of the Female Sex/Section 9

After this Digreion, Madam, let us return to our Subject. We tand yet charg&rsquo;d with Levity, and Incontancy, two Failings o nearly related and o generally United, that it is hard to treat of &rsquo;em apart; we will therefore conider &rsquo;em briefly together. Levity is an unteddy Humour that makes men like and dilike, eek and reject frequently the ame things upon lender or no Reaons. This is the Humour of the Infancy of both Sexes, and proceeds from the trength of their Appetites, and the weaknes of their Judgments. At thee tender Years every thing we ee moves our Curioities, and becaue we think little beyond our Appetites, deire impatiently whatever pleaes. This wears of in Proportion to the growth of our Judgments, when we begin to conider the Fatigue, Hazard, Direputation, and other Inconveniences that attend unreaonable, or inordinate Deires. Herein our Sex have a manifet Advantage over the other; For it is confes&rsquo;d on all hands that our Judgments ripen ooner than theirs, whence of coure it Follows, that this Folly prevails not o long upon us, as them. &rsquo;Tis yet true, that even the mot experienc&rsquo;d and wiet of Us have no mall mixture of it, which appears in the greatet Part of our Actions. But it is certain likewie, that Men have a greater proportion of it than we. From this it is that Novelty derives all its Charms, and that Men perue with o much Eagernes and Impatience what they o oon light if obtain&rsquo;d. I appeal to the Experience of all mankind, if they do not generally frame to themelves much greater Idea&rsquo;s of any thing they deire, and are unacquainted with, that they find real, when they become Familiar to &rsquo;em; and if they did not imagine greater Pleaures, while they were in peruit, than they met with after they were in Poeion of their Wihes. The Imagery of Fancy is, like ome Paintings, ravihing, and urprizing at a due ditance, but approach &rsquo;em near, and all the Charms and Beauty vanih, and they appear rough and unpleaant. Hence it is that Men grow uneaie, and their deires pall o oon upon the full enjoyment of their Wihes; they ee then the imperfections as wellas well as [sic] Beauties of what they coveted, which glitter&rsquo;d o far of, and like the Moon appear&rsquo;d all Lutre and Smoothnes, but when arriv&rsquo;d at, all dark and uneven. Thee Fallacies Men are more ubmitted to than we, by thoe very Priviledges which give &rsquo;em in ome things the advantage over us. The variety of Buines, and Society they run through, the large acquaintance they contract, give &rsquo;em encouragement to apire to, and hopes to obtain many difficult things, which our Sex eldom lift their Thoughts up to. I know this apiring Humour of theirs is generally call&rsquo;d Ambition, and I allow the Term to be proper; but their Ambition works upon their Levity, which only can make them Barter certain Eae, Peace and Security, for uncertain Pomp and Splendour; and forake a Condition they know to be good, for one they know no more of, than that it Shines, and that it Glitters, and andand [sic] o part with the true Jewel for the fale one. Thee are the erious and applauded Follies of Mankind, and hew the Weaknes and Levity of thoe we call the greatet, and wiet Men, that acrifice the Eae and Pleaure of their lives to Popular Ereath, and ounding Titles, which is like bartring a mall Diamond for a large Glas Bubble. Incontancy is o like Levity that little more needs to be aid of it, only that it is commonly retrain&rsquo;d to the change of Affections in regard to Perons, and o is chiefly concern&rsquo;d in Love and FreindhipFriendship [sic]. It is founded upon Levity, thro&rsquo; which we firt make an injudicious Choice, and are afterwards as unreaonably diguted with it. This happens oftner in Love, than Friendhip; becaue the Impreions of Love are more uddenly receiv&rsquo;d, and the Effects of it more violent, than thoe of Friendhip; and the Deires, which are commonly kindled by one ingle Perfection, uch as Beauty or Wit, not being uddenly anwered are in Proces of time extinguih&rsquo;d, or abated by obervation of ome digutful Imperfection or other in the Peron belov&rsquo;d. This is indeed the true Reaon, why Love, which is generally o hot at firt, cools commonly o uddenly; becaue being generally the Iue of Fancy, not Judgment, it is grounded upon an over great Opinion of thoe Perfections, which firt trike us, and which fall in our Eteem upon more mature Examination. From whence it is likewie that Men are les contant in their Affections, than we; for Beauty only being generally the Object of their Paion, the Effect mut necearily be as fadeing as the Caue; their Love therefore being only the reult of wonder and Surprize, is abated by Familiarity, and decays, as they wear of, by Degrees. Beside, that, a Love o Founded is liable to be ravih&rsquo;d by any Superiour Beauty; or if not o, yet the Novelty of the Former once worn of, the New Comer has the aitance of Fancy the Slave of Novelty to gain the Superiority. This is the Caue why o few real and lating Paions are found amongt Men. For Charms depending upon, and owing their Power to Fancy, can maintain no Conquets any longer, than that is on their ide, which is as incontant as the Wind. In this alo we are les faulty, than they; For, not uually fixing our Affection on o mutable a Thing as the Beauty of a Face, which a thouand accidents may detroy, but on Wit, Good Humour, and other Graces of the Mind, as well as of the Body, our Love is more durable, and contant in proportion to the longer continuance of those Qualities in the Object. Neither indeed have we the means, or temptation to be Fickle and incontant o ready as Men have; For Modety, and the Rules of Decency oberv&rsquo;d among Us, not permitting to us the Liberty of declaring our entiments to thoe we love, as Men may, we dare not indulge a wanton Fancy, or rambling Inclination, which mut be tiffled in our own Breats, and cou&rsquo;d only give us a hopeles Anxiety, unles we were able to inpire the ame Paion for us in them; which it were vain to expect, without breaking thro&rsquo; all retraint of Modety and Decorum at the price of our Fame and Reputation, which I hope few are o daring as to venture. Beides this our Tempers are by Nature calm, edate, and tender, not apt to be ruffl&rsquo;d, and diturb&rsquo;d by Paions, and too fearful to enterprize any thing in atisfaction of &rsquo;em; theirs on the contrary, bold, active, and uneven, eaily uceptible of all manner of Deires, and readily executing any Deigns to gratifie &rsquo;em. Thus are we debarr&rsquo;d the liberty of chuing for our elves out of the number that like and addres to us, of which if we fix our Affections upon any one, we are generally fixt and unmoveable, as having neither the Inclination to, nor opportunity of Incontancy, that the Men have. I don&rsquo;t deny but that there may be ome among us guilty of this Fault, but they are vatly hort of the Number of Men involv&rsquo;d in the like Guilt, amongt whom it is now grown o fahionable, that is become no Scandal; but is daily jutified, and the Treachery boated of as high Gallantry. The Crimes therefore of ome few Women ought, to be no reproach to the Sex in general. Of Infidelity in Friendhip I hall ay little, becaue I think there are o few Intances of any thing that deerve the Name, that carce any Age has been o fruitful as to produce two Pair of real and true Friends. I know that the Name is commonly given to uch as are linkt by any Ties of Conanguinity, Affinity, Interet, mutual Obligations, Acquaintance, and the like: But thee are uch Friendhips (if they may be call&rsquo;d o) as are always contracted with a tacit Reerve to Interet on both ides, and eldom lat longer than the Properity of either Party, and during that are frequently renounc&rsquo;d upon light Diobligations, or languih and die of themelves. Yet if I may preume to give my Opinion in a Cae, where matter of Fact does not appear, I think we hou&rsquo;d be the more Faithful even in this too: For as we are les concern&rsquo;d in the Affairs of the World, o we have les Temptation from Interet to be fale to our Friends. Neither are we o likely to be fale thro&rsquo; Fear; becaue our Sex are eldom engag&rsquo;d in matters of any Danger. For thee Reaons it is, our Sex are generally more hearty and incere in the ordinary Friendhips they make than Men, among whom they are uually clogg&rsquo;d with o many Coniderations of Interet, and Punctilio&rsquo;s of Honour; to which lat perhaps are owing the greatet part of thoe honourable Actions, which are mitakenly imputed to Friendhip. For omething done to alve Honour, commonly puts a Period to all Friendhip, with unfortunate Perons; whom Men think they may afterward grow cold to without Reproach.