An Essay in Defence of the Female Sex/Section 10

Thee are the mot coniderable Imperfections, or at leat thoe which with mot Colour of Reaon are charg&rsquo;d upon us, as general Defects; and I hope, Madam, I have fairly hown, that the other Sex are both by Interet and Inclination more expos&rsquo;d, and more Subject to &rsquo;em, than we. Pride, Lut, Cruelty, and many more, are by the Declaimers againt us thrown into the Scale to make weight and bear us down, but with uch manifet Injutice, that without giving my elf any further trouble, I dare appeal to any reaonable Man, and leave him to decide the Difference. I know there was a Tullia, a Claudia, and a Mealina; there was likewie, a Sardanapalus, a Nero, a Caligula; but if the Sexes in general are to be reproach&rsquo;d with, and meaur&rsquo;d by thee; Human Race is certainly the vilet Part of the Creation. &rsquo;Tis very ill Logick to argue from Particulars to Generals, and where the Premies are ingular, to conclude Univerally: But if they will allow us the Liberty they take themelves, and come to numbering the Vicious of both Sexes, they will certainly out poll us by infinite Numbers. It were therefore better Policy urely in them, to quit a way of arguing, which is at once o fale, and o much to the diadvantage of the Caue they contend for: and when they can by ound Arguments make out any Advantages their Sex has over ours, other than what I have already granted, I am ready to be convinc&rsquo;d, and become their Convert; and I make no doubt but every ingenuous Man will do as much by me. Thus I have endeavour&rsquo;d to vindicate our Sex, from the unjut Imputations with which ome unreaonable, malicious Men wou&rsquo;d load us: For I am willing to think the greater, or at leat the better Part of their Sex, more generous than to encourage their Scandal. There remains nothing more, but to hew that there are ome neceary Qualifications to be acquir&rsquo;d, ome good Improvements to be made by Ingenious Gentlemen in the Company of our Sex. Of this number are Complacence, Gallantry, Good Humour, Invention, and an Art, which (tho&rsquo; frequently abus&rsquo;d) is of admirable ue to thoe that are Maters of it, the Art of Ininuation, and many others. &rsquo;Tis true a Man may be an Honet and Undertanding Man, without any of thee Qualifications; but he can hardly be a Polite, a Well Bred, an Agreable, Taking Man, without all, or mot of thee. Without &rsquo;em Honety, Courage, or Wit, are like Rough Diamonds, or Gold in the Ore, they have their intrinick Value, and Worth, before, but they are doubtful and obcure, till they are polih&rsquo;d, refin&rsquo;d, and receive Lutre, and Eteem from thee. The Principal of thee is Complacence, a good Quality, without which in a competent Meaure no Man is fitted for Society. This is bet learnt in our Company, where all Men affect Gaiety, and endeavour to be agreable. State News, Politicks, Religion, or private Buines take up the greatet Part of their Converation, when they are among themelves only. Thee are Subjects that employ their Paions too much, to leave any room for Complacence; they raie too much heat to uffer Men to be eaie and pleaant, and Men are too erious when they talk of &rsquo;em, to uppres their natural Temper, which are apt to break out upon any Oppoition. Men are as apt to defend their Opinions, as their Property, and wou&rsquo;d take it as well to have their Titles to their Etates quetion&rsquo;d, as their Sense; and perhaps in that they imitate the Conduct of our Sex, and do, like indulgent Mothers, that are mot tender of thoe Children that are weaket. But however it be, I have oberv&rsquo;d, when uch Arguments have been introduc&rsquo;d even in our Company, and by Men that affect Indifference and abundance of Temper, that very few have been able to hew o much Matery, but that omething appear&rsquo;d either in their Air, or Expression, or in the Tone of their Voices, which argued a greater Warmth, and Concern, than is proper for the Converation of Gentlemen, or the Company of Ladies. Thee Uneainees happen not o often among us, becaue the Men look upon us to have very little Interet in the Publick Affairs of the World, and therefore trouble us very eldom with their grave, erious Trifles, which they debate with o much earnetnes among one another. They look upon us as Things deign&rsquo;d and contriv&rsquo;d only for their Pleaure, and therefore ue us tenderly, as Children do their Favourite Bawbles. They talk gayly, and pleaantly to us, they do, or ay nothing that may give us any Digut, or Chagrin, they put on their chearfullest Looks, and their bet Humour, that they may excite the like in us: They never oppoe us but with a great deal of Ceremony, or in Raillery, not out of a Spirit of Opposition, (as they frequently do one another) but to maintain a pleaant Argument, or heigthen by variety of Opinions an agreable Entertainment. Mirth, and Good Humour reign generally in our Society, Good Manners always; For with us Men hew in a manner, the Revere of what they are one to another: They let their thoughts play at Liberty, and are very careful of the Expreion, that nothing harh, or obcene ecape &rsquo;em, that may hock a tender Mind, or offend a modet Ear. This Caution it is, which is the Root of Complacence, which is nothing but a Deire to oblige People, by complying with their Humours. &rsquo;Tis true ome Tempers are too Obtinate, and forward, ever to arrive at any great Heigth of this good Quality, yet there is nothing o tubborn, but it may be bent. Aiduity and contant Practice will contract uch Habits, as will make any thing eaie and familiar, even to the wort contriv&rsquo;d Dipoition; but where Nature concurs, Men are oon Perfect. This is one great advantage Men reap by our Society, nor is it to be depis&rsquo;d by the Wiet of &rsquo;em, who know the ue of this Accomplihment, and are enible, that it is hardly, if at all, to be acquir&rsquo;d, but by convering with us. For tho&rsquo; Men may have Wit and Judgment, yet the Liberty they take of thwarting, and oppoing one another makes &rsquo;em Eager, and Diputative, Impatient, Sowre, and Moroe; till by convering with us, they grow inenibly aham&rsquo;d of uch Rustick Freedom. The truth of this is Evident from the Obervation of the Univerities, and Inns of Court, I mean thoe Students in &rsquo;em that lead a more reclue and Monatick Life, and convere little with our Sex. They want neither Wit, nor Learning, and frequently neither Generoity, nor Good Nature, yet when they come into gay, tho&rsquo; Ingenious Company, are either damp&rsquo;d and ilent, or uneaonably Frolickom and Free, o that they appear either Dull, or Ridiculous. Nor is Complacence the only thing thee Men want, they want likewie the Gallantry of thoe Men that frequent our Company. This Quality is the heigth and perfection of Civility, without which it is either Languihing, or Formal, and with which it appears always with an engaging Air of Kindnes, and Good Will. It ets a value upon the mot inconiderable Trifles, and turns every Civility into an Obligation. For in ordinary Familiarities, and civil Correpondencies, we regard not o much what, as how things are done, the Manner is more lookt upon than the Matter of uch Courteies. Almot all Men that have had a liberal, and good Education know, what is due to Good Manners, and civil Company. But till they have been us&rsquo;d a little to Our Society, their Modety its like Contraint upon &rsquo;em, and looks like a forc&rsquo;d Compliance to uneaie Rules, and Forms of Civility. Convering frequently with us makes &rsquo;em familiar to Men, and when they are convinc&rsquo;d, as well of the Eaines, as the Neceity of &rsquo;em, they are oon reconcil&rsquo;d to the Practice. This Point once gain&rsquo;d, and they become expert in the common, and neceary Practices. Thoe that have any natural Bravery of Mind, will never be contented to top there; Indifference is too cold and Phlegmatick a thing for &rsquo;em, a little Formal Ceremony, and common Civilities, uch as are paid to e&rsquo;ry one of Coure, will not atisfie their Ambitious Spirits, which will put &rsquo;em upon endeavouring for better Receptions, and obliging thoe, whom they can&rsquo;t without Reproach to themelves offend. This is the Original, and firt Spring of Gallantry, which is an Humour of Obliging all People, as well in our Actions and Words. It differs from Complacence, this being more active, that more paive; This inclines us to oblige, by doing or aying after our own Humours uch things as we think will pleae; that by ubmitting to, and following theirs. A Man may be Complacent without Gallantry, but he can&rsquo;t be Gallant without Complacence. For &rsquo;tis poible to pleae and be agreable, without hewing our own Humours to Others; but &rsquo;tis impoible without ome regard to theirs: yet this Pleaure will be but faint and languid, without a Mixture of both. This mixture of Freedom, Obervance, and a deire of pleaing, when rightly tempered, is the true Compoition of Gallantry; of which, who ever is compleat Mater, can never fail of being both admir&rsquo;d, and belov&rsquo;d. This Accomplihment is bet, if not only to be acquir&rsquo;d by convering with us; for beides the natural Deference, which the Males of every obervable Species of the creation pay to their Females, and the Reaons before given for Complacence, which all hold good here, there is a tender Softnes in the Frame of our Minds, as well as in the Contitution of our Bodies, which inpireinspires [sic] Men, a Sex more rugged, with the like Sentiments, and Affections, and infues gently and inenibly a Care to oblige, and a Concern not to offend us. Hence it is that they employ all their Art, Wit, and Invention to ay and do things, that may appear to us, urprizing and agreable either for their Novelty or Contrivance. The very End and Nature of Converation among us retrench aboundance of thoe things, which make the greatet part of Men&rsquo;s dicoure, and they find themelves oblig&rsquo;d to train their Inventions to fetch from other Springs, Streams proper to entertain us with. This puts &rsquo;em upon beating and ranging ore the Fields of Fancy to find omething new, omething pretty to offer us, and by this means refines at the ame time their Wit, and enlarges, and extends their Invention; For by forcing &rsquo;em out of the common Road, they are neceitated to invent new Arguments, and eek new ways to divert and pleae us, and by retraining the large Liberty they take one with another, they are compell&rsquo;d to polih their Wit, and File off the Roughnes of it. To this they owe, the Neatnes of Raillery, to which abundance of Gentlemen are now arriv&rsquo;d; For Contrariety, of Opinions, being that which gives Life, and Spirit to Converation, as well Women as Men do frequently hold Arguments contrary to their real Opinions, only to heigthen the Diverion, and improve the pleaure of Society. In thee the utmot Care is taken to avoid all things that may ound harh, offenive, or indecent, their Wit is employ&rsquo;d only to raie mirth, and promote good Humour, Conditions that can&rsquo;t well be oberv&rsquo;d, when Men contend for Realities, and dipute for the Reputation of their Wit or Judgment, and the truth of their Opinions. &rsquo;Tis true thee Improvements are to be made only by Men, that have by Nature an improvable Stock of Wit and good Sene; For thoe that have it not, being unable to ditinguih what is proper for their Imitation, are apt to Ape us in thoe Things which are the peculiar Graces and Ornaments of our Sex, and which are the immediate Objects of Sight, and need no further Reflection, or thinking. This Affectation is notorious in our Modern Beau&rsquo;s, who oberving the Care taken by ome of our Sex in the etting of their Perons, without penetrating any farther into the Reaons Women have for it, or conidering, that what became them, might be ridiculous in themelves, fall to licking, prucing, and dreing their Campaign Faces, and ill contriv&rsquo;d Bodies, that now, like all Foolih Imitatours, they out do the Originals, and out-powder, out-patch, and out-paint the Vainet and mot extravagant of our Sex at thoe Follies, and are perpetually Cocking, Brutling, Twiring, and making Grimaces, as if they expected we hou&rsquo;d make Addrees to &rsquo;em in a hort Time. Yet ought not this to dicourage any Ingenious Peron, or bring any Scandal upon our Coveration, any more than Travelling ought to be brought into Direpute, becaue it is oberv&rsquo;d, that thoe, who go abroad Fools, return Fops. It is not in our power to alter Nature, but to polih it, and if an As has learnt all his Paces, &rsquo;tis as much as the thing is capable of, &rsquo;twere aburd to expect he hou&rsquo;d chop Logick. This is o far from being an Objection againt us, that it is an Argument, that none but Ingenious Men are duely qualified to convere with us; Who by our Means have not only been fitted, and finih&rsquo;d for great things, but have actually apir&rsquo;d to &rsquo;em. For &rsquo;tis my Opinion, that we owe the Neat, Gentile Raillery in Sir George Etheredge, and Sir Charles Sedley&rsquo;s Plays, and the Gallant Veres of Mr. Waller to their Convering much with Ladies. And I remember an Opinion of a very Ingenious Peron, who acribes the Ruine of the Spanih Grandeur in great meaure, to the ridiculing in the Peron of Don Quixot, the Gallantry of that Nation toward their Ladies. This Opinion however Ingenious carries me beyond the Scope and deign of the preent Argument, and therefore I hall leave all further Conideration of it to thoe that are more at leiure, and les weary than I am at preent. There remain yet ome things to be poken to, but I mut confes to you, Madam, that I am already very much tired, and I have reaon to fear that you are more. When you enjoyn&rsquo;d me to this Task, I believe, you did not expect, I am ure, I did not intend o long a Letter. I know I have written too much, yet I leave you to judge, whether it be enough. One Experience I have gain&rsquo;d by this Eay, that I find, when our Hands are in, &rsquo;tis as hard to top &rsquo;em, as our Tongues, and as difficult not to write, as not to talk too much. I have done wondring at those Men, that can write huge Volumes upon lender Subjects, and hall hereafter admire their Judgment only, who can confine their Imaginations, and curb their wandring Fancies. I pretend no Obligation upon our Sex for this Attempt in their Defence; becaue it was undertaken at your Command, and for your Diverion only, which if I have in any meaure atisfied, I have my Ambition, and hall beg nothing farther, than that my ready Obedience may excue the mean Performance of


 * Madam,


 * Your real Friend, and


 * Mot humble Servant.