A Moral Alphabet/O for Oxford

O STANDS FOR OXFORD.

Hail! salubrious seat

Of learning! Academical Retreat!

Home of my Middle Age! Malarial Spot

Which People call Medeeval (though it's not).

The marshes in the neighbourhood can vie

With Cambridge, but the town itself is dry,

And serves to make a kind of Fold or Pen

Wherein to herd a lot of Learned Men.

Were I to write but half of what they know,

It would exhaust the space reserved for "O";

And, as my book must not be over big,

I turn at once to "P," which stands for Pig.

MORAL:

Be taught by this to speak with moderation

Of places where, with decent application,

One gets a good, sound, middle-class education.